Pavlov's dog
I feel like shit today. I imagine it's because of love, better, because the lack of it. It's true that relations need some kind of maintenance or they will die. I am speaking for myself here, of course.
Pavlov was a Russian scientists that studied behaviour. More precisely, conditioned reflexes. He add a group of dogs in his lab. He shown that if one used the dog to certain stimulus while eating they would respond to the same stimulus by preparing to eat, even without the presence of food.
Relations are like that. If one starts a relation and keeps putting in some sort of positive stimulation it will grow stronger. Everyday will be better that the last. One will strive for another, for the presence of the other.
The problem is the opposite, if one keeps putting some sort of negative situations, they will become a part of the relation. If one just comes home and thinks it will be another of those days, it will start preparing for the usual nightmare, it won't ever work.
Once, while my wife was pregnant, or just after my daughter was born, don't remember, a friend told us a story about one couple. The woman just started to trow up wen she saw her husband. She was also pregnant. It was one of those stupid hormonal responses that all can understand and forgive. All but the relation they had. It was lost after that. Like Pavlov's dogs they got conditioned to that situation and couldn't live together anymore. Tell me a man that can live with a woman that starts trowing up when he gets home? Or give me a woman that goes running to the bath room as soon as the husband enters the room and likes it?
Mine is like that also. I just can't go home without thinking what is going to be today, what kind of things i will have to put up with.
One thing that help happiness is putting and happy face. Smiling can make a lot for you, even if you don't feel like smiling. Smile and you will feel better. It's true and tested in labs around the world. It's even true in life.
The thing is that the opposite is also true. Add that to the Pavlov's dogs and you will get a sure recipe for destruction. Something will break. Someone will have to loose for achieving sanity. I know i will loose a lot. I will put into danger the thing i care much in my life, my daughter.
But i am a dog, i just start responding in advance to the situations that didn't even happened. You might think that we could try solve that, talking, something. I guess once we could, but i just found out one thing, for that to work, both need to know they have a problem. If one thinks it's fine like that, what is the solution?
It's like that woman, she just couldn't stop running to the bath room. She was pretty sure she didn't had a problem. But how could he stand that, how good could he feel in that situation. At some point they just got conditioned to a point they couldn't go back anymore, they didn't wanted to go back anymore.
Pavlov was a Russian scientists that studied behaviour. More precisely, conditioned reflexes. He add a group of dogs in his lab. He shown that if one used the dog to certain stimulus while eating they would respond to the same stimulus by preparing to eat, even without the presence of food.
Relations are like that. If one starts a relation and keeps putting in some sort of positive stimulation it will grow stronger. Everyday will be better that the last. One will strive for another, for the presence of the other.
The problem is the opposite, if one keeps putting some sort of negative situations, they will become a part of the relation. If one just comes home and thinks it will be another of those days, it will start preparing for the usual nightmare, it won't ever work.
Once, while my wife was pregnant, or just after my daughter was born, don't remember, a friend told us a story about one couple. The woman just started to trow up wen she saw her husband. She was also pregnant. It was one of those stupid hormonal responses that all can understand and forgive. All but the relation they had. It was lost after that. Like Pavlov's dogs they got conditioned to that situation and couldn't live together anymore. Tell me a man that can live with a woman that starts trowing up when he gets home? Or give me a woman that goes running to the bath room as soon as the husband enters the room and likes it?
Mine is like that also. I just can't go home without thinking what is going to be today, what kind of things i will have to put up with.
One thing that help happiness is putting and happy face. Smiling can make a lot for you, even if you don't feel like smiling. Smile and you will feel better. It's true and tested in labs around the world. It's even true in life.
The thing is that the opposite is also true. Add that to the Pavlov's dogs and you will get a sure recipe for destruction. Something will break. Someone will have to loose for achieving sanity. I know i will loose a lot. I will put into danger the thing i care much in my life, my daughter.
But i am a dog, i just start responding in advance to the situations that didn't even happened. You might think that we could try solve that, talking, something. I guess once we could, but i just found out one thing, for that to work, both need to know they have a problem. If one thinks it's fine like that, what is the solution?
It's like that woman, she just couldn't stop running to the bath room. She was pretty sure she didn't had a problem. But how could he stand that, how good could he feel in that situation. At some point they just got conditioned to a point they couldn't go back anymore, they didn't wanted to go back anymore.
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