Need you

I need to be near you. I am forcing myself to be away from your side. It hurts.

I still think it was a miracle finding you after all this time. Why are miracle so hard to see? Perception is a strange thing. It looks like our brain only sees what is looking for, and most of the times we are looking for the wrong things. We expect to find a sign of things to come, we fantasise a world that can comfortable and fulfilling, and start to see it all around us, we start to imagine a future that's bright and shiny, and start living on that world.

But the world is made from everybody that lives around us, beyond us. Then, one day, reality comes and knocks on the door, it's a wake up that brings consequences, often disappointments. I have a fear inside, that I am looking for something that's not there, that never was there to begin with.

I forced myself over situations that where uncomfortable. I managed to get here, today, and feel no regrets. But I need to go further and I feel that some things are getting behind. I feel that I am dragging an anchor, that we are being forced back, again and again. Thinking more about others than us, more about practicalities of life and living less than we should.

I believe in miracles, but I must say it loud, I must write it to remember. The easy way is always another way. The easy way was not the right way, but is so hard sometimes that we just can't stop wondering if we made the right choices in life. What I know is that we never always make the right choices, we make mistakes. It's how we live with them that makes us. It's what we believe in that makes us get over the mistakes.

But, if perception is not reality, believing is less tangible. Believing is something that must come from the very inside of the body, is something that must be a part of us, like a leg or the head. Something that we always take for granted, that is so close to our physical entities we never question. That why I think there is one place in which we can always be certain. The place where two become one. That's why I need you. I need to feel your soul being given and give you myself, with no restrains, no fears, nothing more than us.

It's kissing you, holding you in my arms that makes me believe in miracles, that makes me stand my ground and move on, because when we are together I know that my ground is ours and we are going together.