Saudade

This is going to be a quick one, i don't have many time today. I'm not even writing in the morning as usual. I needed to say something in english one of these days, and it was i felt saudade of something long ago and fact that i don't think some that i keep close could ever experience the same as i did.

I stopped and thought how to explain that word, i know we can't translate that, but how can i explain that feeling.

Googling, reading Wikipedia, thinking what is our soul and history i think i found a way so that others can understand that. Saudade if not a feeling, is several feelings at the same time, and those feelings are paradoxal. Then saudade is strong, stronger that death and love. Saudade is big, is bigger that the morning misty sea blending in the sky.

Imagine someone you love with your life, imagine that he goes on a voyage, and the voyage is so risky that you don know if he's ever coming. Then imagine that the voyage will take from a year to several. First you start by missing him, them you start thinking he will never come back, then you start hoping he will come back because you need him.As the time goes by the less you know he will come back and more you want him to come back, the more you need to believe against the odds.

Then imagine you are overlooking the sea in the morning, waiting that today is the day you will see the ship coming back, them several come, but not your's. This for days with no end, without loosing hope but knowing that it should be lost.

Saudade is hole in the heart the size of the ocean that you can't ever fill, that you must live with until you die, but you can't die because you are still waiting for something that will never be.

Saudade is bigger that love and death and is ours.